Yeah, my ex was called Sam. Everytime he ate the last cookie in college he’d just be there munching it with the huge eyes of guilt-tripping. Something you never get used to.
So if you can’t see do you have one of those computers that reads out everything on the screen?
Can you read Braille?
Oh yeah, every chocolate bar has something like…eight spiders legs in. Mmmm extra protein.
Man, that sounds exactly like my Sam. I’m pretty sure he still makes the puppy eyes out of habit.
Yup. Though I just have a regular computer with the letters raised.
Nope. Again, letters raised. Sam reads everything to me that I need. It’s too late to learn it, really.
Mmm, yeah. Why I don’t eat chocolate bars.
(Source: anointedmineeyes)
But…he’s got actual puppy eyes. He kinda reminds me of my ex sometimes. Kicking him out with be a whole load of guilt staring and fake shivering. He’s a little drama queen.
Nope, just made that up because I felt like it.
…
Yes, really.
But there’s like…no chocolate in there. It’s all…I dunno, processed and milk and water and no cocoa!
For once, I’m glad that I can’t see. My brother Sam had severe puppy eyes and they worked every time he used them. Now his evil forces can’t touch me, haha!
Heheh. I see.
Well, I didn’t even know that. I heard you eat spiders in it too.
(Source: anointedmineeyes)
That’s what I thought. I think when they show up to take my picture for the book, I should make things a little more exciting though. Maybe I can start growing my toenails out or something.
Really. And yeah, I guess. I prefer to think of it as artfully layered.
That’s very cool, man. Sounds like a good brother.
Somebody’s already done that though. You gotta think of something new. Maybe never cut your hair and take those pills that pregnant women take for fortification or some crap, but it makes your hair grow really long really fast.
Artfully layered? That’s not how I remember my Sammy’s. Heheh.
Yeah. He really is.
(Source: anointedmineeyes)
And he’s really savaging them as well. I wouldn’t mind so much if he would just eat them, but he’s shaking the bag so they go everywhere and they pouncing on them and grinding them into the carpet before eating them. Surely that’s in breach of cheeto rights?
You know, you’re the first person I’ve properly spoken to on this online…blog thing. It usually just sits here gathering dust bunnies.
What is so appealing about a Hershey bar?
Dude. You should kick him out. He doesn’t deserve a roof over his head if he’s gonna be a little shit like that.
Really?
And… it’s chocolate? I’m not sure. Haven’t had one in years.
(Source: anointedmineeyes)